Royalist, republican, or really couldn’t give a toss-ican, I’m sure most of you are fed up with all the hullabaloo surrounding the anniversary of our Queen’s 60th year on the throne (she must really be in need of some Senokot) .
However, it’s not our fair Queen’s record breaking long reign that’s raining on my parade, instead it’s the inescapable publicity and uncontrollable amounts of Union Jack-themed merchandise everywhere you look.
Jubilini, sorry – that should be ‘Diamond Lambrini’ – is one such culprit. Lambrini, “as an iconic British brand“, has actually released a limited edition bottle to mark the occasion – I’m sure the queen will be thrilled. Maybe the reason why so many people are jumping on the Jubilee-bandwagon though is because LOCOG (London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games) have been so draconian in their efforts to control, and mostly prevent, anyone using anything that could be associated with the Olympics. No joke, it’s actually forbidden to use the words “London 2012” in any form of promotional material for fear of devaluing the games, which freely translated means more money staying in the well-lined pockets of the Olympics organisers, but that’s a story for another time.
Getting back to my point. Arguably worse than every shopping aisle in the land looking like Union Jacks ‘R’ Us though are the puff pieces on the news – report after report on how the Queen shook someone’s hand or once coughed on a loyal subject. Enough now!
Fortunately, it’s not all bad. This Jubilee-themed mosaic art, made up of 5000 photos, is actually quite a nice idea and well worth a look. Also, some advertisers have managed to ‘think outside the box’ and have come up with some absolute advertising gems (thinking inside the box mostly involves slapping a Union Jack on the label). Below are two of my favourite Jubilee-themed brand name changes:
Seriously, that Marmite one is pure yeasty gold! Look again to find the second pun at the bottom of their new label.
Ultimately though as long as we all get an extra long bank holiday I think even the most hardened of republicans will find it hard to be grumpy this weekend. All I can say is let’s hope Harry gets married next year so that these extra bank holidays can become a yearly occurrence! Long live the Royal Family (as long as we get the odd day off here and there).
PS. For anyone who’s interested there’s even an official song for the Diamond Jubilee. Sing, by Gary Barlow & The Commonwealth Band featuring Military Wives .